


Sacrifices and Saviours

by umiyuki



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-25
Updated: 2011-03-25
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umiyuki/pseuds/umiyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is rescued on two separate occasions, each time by the last person he expects.</p><p>Originally written for a prompt on the homesmut kinkmeme, which was in turn a response to the update on 03/23/11.  Spoilers for and up to that update, naturally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifices and Saviours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shatterstag](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatterstag/gifts).



> This is almost certainly going to be jossed in record time, and I don't even care. It's a story I felt I needed to tell.

**1\. Karkat**

You are going to die.

Looking up at the huge, brightly-colored, awe-inspiring Warhammer of Zillyhoo as it is wielded by the murderous clown who was once your friend, your death seems to be the only possible conclusion.

You should be trying to kill him. The multicolored bloodstains on his hands and clothes belong to four of your other friends. One of them died right in front of you at his hand a few moments ago, his prediction of his own death coming true. Another of them you had essentially ordered to go to his death – in the end he probably had not been able to raise a hand against Gamzee, and he had told you as much before he went, but he’d gone anyway because you were his leader and you had told him to and he’d always been such an idiot about that kind of thing. The third had likely seen her moirail’s death and fought vainly to avenge him. The fourth… You have no idea what happened to Terezi. Perhaps it is the crushing guilt you feel over these four deaths that keeps you from fighting back. You didn’t protect your friends, and for that, you deserve to die too.

That, and you are too terrified to move.

 

 **2\. GaMzEe**

When the Mirthful Messiahs overtake your body, you cannot stop them. You cannot move. You cannot speak. You cannot even scream. You can only watch.

Watch and listen as the two Mirthful Messiahs use your body to subjuggalate your friends, one by one.

You try to scream at Terezi, tell her to run, but you can’t. They hurt her and you just watch through unblinking, unsopored eyes that see everything all too clearly. She manages to escape, just barely, using a transportalizer and breaking it behind her on the other side. You are relieved to no longer be pummeling your friend, that you didn’t kill her, but she was bleeding a lot and you don’t know how long she’ll last.

 _sToP, mOtHeRfUcKiNg StOp HuRtInG mY fRiEnDs!_ you yell inside your mind. Your Mirthful Messiahs laugh. They’re only getting started.

The second encounter is worse. When you first see him, you feel a tiny spot of hope, because if anyone can stop you it is him. He could break you with a single punch. If he kills you, this will be over and you won’t hurt anyone else.

But he doesn’t fight you, doesn’t so much as twitch a muscle in his own defense. You watch helplessly as you bring him to his knees with one of his own arrows and strangle him with the bowstring, screaming inside your head for him to fight back.

He dies with a smile on his face and you wish it had been him strangling you.

And then there’s a loud roar of rage as his moirail bursts out of a grate in the wall, claws aimed straight at your face.

 _Oh GoD cHiCa I’m So FuCkInG sOrRy I dIdN’t FuCkIn WaNt To KiLl HiM pLeAsE jUsT mOtHeRfUcKiNg RuN_

That is what you would scream if you had a voice anymore.

Your hand catches her wrist as her claws are an inch from your eyes. You feel her bones snapping in your grip, feel the Mirthful Messiahs drag her claws painfully across your skin.

You try to fight them but it is no use. Minutes later she is slumped dead on top of her moirail’s body.

This is about when you give up on screaming and give in to despair.

When Kanaya kicks you off the ledge in the laboratory, you’re just glad you didn’t have the chance to kill her or Eridan or Vriska. Maybe the fall will kill you.

When you land, it doesn’t even hurt. You’ve never been more disappointed.

The Messiahs keep forcing your body forward, following the faint scent of mustard in the air. Sollux. You try to yell, to warn him, but the sick bastards in control of your body are doing it for you.

“I’M MOTHERFUCKING COMING FOR YOU, CAPTOR”

“run all you want but you’ll never get away”

“HONK”

“honk”

It is not long before they find him. He’s in bad shape already, his eye sockets scorched empty, spitting out his own teeth into a bloody mess on the floor. Karkat is with him, supporting him as they try to escape down the corridor.

“LONG TIME NO SEE MOTHERFUCKING BEST FRIEND,” yells one of the Mirthful Messiahs, and you cringe.

“did you miss me?” whispers the other.

Karkat looks terrified, as does Sollux. You had been hoping that maybe Sollux could use his psionics to stop you, but with his eyes burned out it’s not going to happen.

All of a sudden Sollux steps forward. “ _Run_ , KK!” he yells, and charges blindly forward at you.

“SOLLUX, NO!” Karkat yells back, as do you inside your head. The two of you watch together as the Mirthful Messiahs beat him to death with your bare hands. Karkat staggers backward and slumps against a wall, red tears running from his eyes.

The Messiahs reach into your Jokerkind specibus and pull out the legendary Warhammer of Zillyhoo. “only the best for my best friend.” You step toward him, the colorful hammer heavy in your hand.

You have killed three, maybe four of your closest friends. You are scared and sad and hopeless and most of all, angry. You have never felt so much rage in your entire life.

It is then that you remember your hero title and the destiny it called for you.

You take all of the rage coursing through you right now and you _sing_ it, a ballad of anger and pain so loud it makes the walls shudder.

“ _nOt My BeSt FrIeNd YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg MoNsTeRs!_ ” The words burst forth from your throat, furious impossible harmonies exploding from your vocal chords, the song powerful enough to grant you a few seconds’ control of your own body again. No time for hesitation. You know what you have to do.

You smash the Warhammer of Zillyhoo into your own chest, the song of your rage multiplying your strength a hundredfold. You crumple to the ground and at long last the Mirthful Messiahs are silenced.

 

 **3\. Karkat**

The sound that fills the room is like nothing you have ever heard. It is a tuneless, three-second song made of pure rage.

“ _nOt My BeSt FrIeNd YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg MoNsTeRs!_ ” It is Gamzee’s real voice again, not the two monster-Gamzees from before but the Gamzee who you went on an incredible, life-changing adventure gone horribly wrong with. In the back of your mind you remember his title, the Bard of Rage, and it occurs to you that whatever those alternate personalities of his were, they weren’t the real him. This is the true Bard of Rage, and he is saving your life.

Gamzee raises the hammer and smashes himself in the chest with it, the loud and horrible noise of his flesh tearing and his ribs breaking filling the room. He drops the hammer and falls to the ground.

For a second you just stare at him, too stunned to speak. He doesn’t seem to be moving. You move toward him cautiously.

“…Gamzee?” you ask.

With visible effort and pain, Gamzee turns his head toward you. There’s purple blood running from his mouth and tears of a lighter purple running from his eyes. “HeY, BeSt FrIeNd,” he says, his voice soft and broken, almost as if it was used up by his song. “Oh KaR i’M sO fUcKiNg SoRrY.”

You don’t know how to feel right now. He killed your friends, but it wasn’t really him, he couldn’t help it, and now he’s about to die. He’s killed himself to save you. You are angry and sad and relieved all at once. You look at him lying there, barely breathing, pain of all kinds clear on his face, and you realize that you don’t hate him. Maybe you’ll hate him later, maybe not, but right now you don’t. You reach out and take his hand, because right now all you feel for him is pity.

“sO mOtHeRfUcKiNg SoRrY, kAr, I tRiEd To StOp ThEm BuT i CoUlDn’T aNd” He coughs, purple blood spraying from his mouth.

“Don’t try to talk,” you say, squeezing his hand. A part of you wants to strangle Gamzee, finish him off for Sollux, for Nepeta, for Equius, for Terezi, but you can’t do it. You’ve had too many friends die today without having a chance to say goodbye to them, and even after everything that’s happened you’re not going to let Gamzee go the same way.

Gamzee ignores you and keeps talking. “YoU dOn’T hAvE tO fUcKiN fOrGiVe Me Or AnYtHiNg, MaN, aNd I aIn’T gOnNa AsK fOr It, I dEsErVe ThIs.”

You can’t think of anything to say to that, and you feel guilty for being relieved that he isn’t going to ask you for forgiveness. You don’t think you can forgive him. But that doesn’t make you any less sad that he’s dying. You stroke his hand with your thumb and hope it’s a comfort to him.

“KaR,” says Gamzee, a light of urgency in his eyes, “tErEzI’s StIlL aLiVe.”

“She is?” Hearing these words sparks a prick of hope in your chest. “Where is she?”

“I dOn’T kNoW, mAn,” says Gamzee, pausing to cough up more purple blood. “ShE gOt AwAy SoMeWhErE, yOu GoTtA gO fInD hEr. FiNd HeR aNd TeLl HeR i’M sOrRy.” He closes his eyes. “JeGuS, i’M sOrRy.”

“Okay,” you say. “I’ll find her, Gamzee, I will.” You have one more question to ask of him before he dies. “Are Equius and Nepeta…” The words catch in your throat and you can’t bring yourself to say them.

Gamzee makes this awful noise, a sob choked with so much pain and sorrow that it hurts you to hear it. “ThEy’Re GoNe, MaN,” he says, voice breaking, more purple tears running from his eyes.

His words are like a punch to your throat. “Okay,” is all you can think to say.

“TaKe CaRe Of TeReZi,” says Gamzee. He’s fading, his voice growing softer and more strained.

“I will,” you say.

“OkAy,” says Gamzee, his face taking on a look of peace amidst the pain. “YoU kNoW sOmEtHiNg, KaR?”

“What’s that,” you reply, getting the feeling that he is about to say something incredibly stupid.

“sHiT’s GoTtEn ReAl FuCkEd Up SiNcE tHe GaMe EnDeD aNd aLl,” he whispers, and you have to lean in closer just to hear him. “BuT i StIlL tHiNk ThAt AlL oF uS mEeTiNg, BeCoMiNg GoOd BrOs AnD sHiT…”

You are now categorically certain that he is going to say something stupid. You begin to sob. His fingers twitch and he squeezes your hand back a little.

“wAs A mOtHeRfUcKiN mIrAcLe.” A ghost of a smile flickers briefly across his pained face. “SeE yOu LaTeR, bEsT fRiEnD.”

“Goodbye,” you whisper through your tears, and a second later his hand goes slack in yours, his head lolls to one side, and he is gone like the rest of them.

“Gog fucking dammit, Gamzee,” you sob, letting go of his hand. You look down and see a smear of teal blood on your palm.

You get to your feet and start walking away, pausing only a moment next to Sollux’s lifeless body before continuing forward through the empty, bloodstained labs. You have to find Terezi.

You hope you are not too late.

 

 **4\. John**

When Jade helps you cross over into the trolls’ session using her God Tier space powers, you are so excited. You can’t wait to meet them all. Your conversations with them have been a lot of fun. You’re especially excited to meet Karkat. You expect him to greet you with the most hilarious string of profanities yet.

What you actually find when you reach their lab in the Veil is starkly different from your expectations. For one thing, it smells of death and there is bright rainbow blood everywhere. You wonder what the hell happened. You race through the labs looking for survivors, and eventually you find some – one hugging his knees with his back to a wall; another, covered in makeshift bandages with splotches of teal soaking into them, lying on the floor beside him.

“Karkat?” you ask, and the troll sitting crouched in a ball on the floor looks up at you.

Karkat is nothing like you imagined him. You’d expected some huge, comically cranky ogre sitting at a too-small computer terminal. Karkat is small and huddled and gray, with nubby candy corn horns poking up from a mess of black hair. You had expected him to yell at you, eyes steaming with rage, but when he looks up at you all you see in his eyes is misery. That and surprise.

“John human,” he says quietly. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you,” you say. You take a few steps toward him. “What happened?”

Karkat takes a deep breath and runs a clawed hand (“Claws!” says your brain helpfully) through his hair. “Everyone’s dead.”

The two words hit you square in the chest. You have no idea what to say.

“ _I’m_ not dead, Karkles,” says the troll lying on the floor. “John human, you smell B1ZZ4R3.” She says the last word with a really weird accent, one you almost can’t make out. It sort of sounds like the way she types, for all the sense that makes.

You laugh in spite of the grimness of the situation. “Hey, Terezi, glad you’re okay.” You sit down next to Karkat, compelled by the misery you see in him to put your arm around him. He doesn’t try to push you away or yell at you. It’s kind of surreal. “Everyone’s dead?”

“That’s what I said, yes,” says Karkat, a hint of annoyance surfacing amidst the sadness in his voice. “Everyone except for us and Vriska.”

“And Kanaya,” adds Terezi, “if being a Rainbow Drinker counts as not being dead.”

“Damn,” you say, “what happened?”

Terezi doesn’t say anything. Karkat sighs. “It’s… I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Okay,” you say. You look at him. Everything about him is alien, but his exhaustion is as recognizable as it would be on any human. “I’m sorry, Karkat.” You don’t know if this is breaking some sort of troll cultural taboo or anything, but you can’t just do nothing while he’s looking so miserable and so tired. You very gently pull his head down onto your shoulder and run your fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry.”

To your surprise, Karkat actually scoots a little closer to you. “Your human touch is less disgusting than I had expected, which is not saying much,” he says, burying his face in your shoulder. You think he might be crying.

“Hey, stop hogging all the human cuddles, Karkat,” says Terezi.

“Shut up, Terezi,” grumbles Karkat, sniffling into your shirt, “he’s not _Dave_ for fuck’s sake, and besides, you still can’t move yet. I’m not bandaging you up again.”

“That’s true,” says Terezi. “Did you bring the Dave human with you?”

“No, it’s just me,” you say. “…Do you guys want to get out of here? Jade can bring you back to our session with me.”

“Yes,” says Karkat. “Anywhere but here.”

“Definitely,” says Terezi.

“Okay,” you say, eager to get away from this haunted, awful place yourself. “What about Vriska and Kanaya?”

“Vriska killed Tavros and Kanaya has been making out with her ever since,” grumbles Karkat. “The two of them can rot on this rock for all I care. Just get us the fuck out of here.”

“Yeah,” you say, holding him a little tighter. “Okay.” You send a message to Jade through your computer glasses, telling her what’s happened and asking her to bring you back along with Karkat and Terezi. She says she can do that. “Let’s go,” you say. You reach over and take Terezi’s hand – Jade didn’t say anything about it but you think it would be a good idea if you hung on to both of them while she transports you.

A second later you’re on LOFAF, Jade and Dave looking down at you.

“Huh,” says Dave. “So that’s what trolls look like.”

“D4V3!” exclaims Terezi. “YOU SM3LL SO COOL, D4V3 HUM4N. NOW L13 DOWN 4ND L3T M3 L1CK YOU. 1 B3T YOU T4ST3 COOL TOO.”

“You are so fucking weird, Terezi,” says Dave, but he does as she asks, an air of irony about the whole thing. He doesn’t let it show on his face, but you can tell all the same that he’s a little freaked out at the sight of Terezi’s wounds. You see it in the careful way he lies down beside her and inches himself close enough to let her lick him without much effort.

Terezi licks the side of his face. “H3H3H3, 1 KN3W 1T!”

Jade looks down at you and Karkat. “Karkat?” she asks. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” says Karkat, “I’m fine, take care of Terezi.”

“Okay.” Jade kneels down next to Terezi and Dave and starts taking medical supplies out of her captchalogue.

Karkat sighs into your shoulder. You feel another pang of sadness for him and stroke the side of his arm with your hand.

“Hey,” you say, “it’s gonna be okay, Karkat, we got you out of there. You’re safe.” You hesitate a moment before adding, softly enough that maybe the others won’t hear you, “I’m here.”

 

 **5\. Karkat**

“I’m here,” says the John human in this quiet voice. It’s more comforting than you will ever admit.

“What an inane thing to say,” you grumble, and clench your hand in his shirt.

“Karkat?”

“Shut up,” you say. “Shut up and keep doing that being here thing you’re so fond of announcing you’re doing.”

“I can do that,” says the John human. He puts his other arm around your waist as if to emphasize his here-ness.

You take a deep breath. You are safe, and he is here.

You are beginning to think things might actually get better after all.


End file.
